You are reading my blog. You are SO lucky.

For real, you are. Because instead of laying on a ventilator restrained in multi system organ failure or maybe being incarcerated or in a whale's stomach or something, you are probably sitting somewhere in the air conditioning reading this off your iphone or ipad or i-whatever.Also you are very lucky to be reading stuff that I write because I have really awesome stuff to say. And my mom thinks I am pretty witty. And my dog loves the crap out of me so I must be pretty cool.

It kind of hit me today that I might be too lucky, and this scares me. Because whenever things seem great I feel like the universe needs to balance things out and it makes me think something bad probably needs to happen. I mean, my kids are sooooo healthy. And also adorable. And fun. I think they are the best thing to ever happen to me and pretty much the world as a whole. And I am married to a pretty great guy, things are far from perfect but we have worked through so much conflict and somehow are not divorced and love each other anyways. And we both have good jobs and we can pay like all of our bills now. Like all of them. And sometimes there is even money left over. And I get to buy shoes with it. And I ate this really great curry for dinner with cupcake wine, which I love. Also I dont hate my job or really anything about my day to day life for the most part.

So that kind of makes me worry, I mean bad things happen all the time. Like women in some parts of Africa deal with genital mutilation, and also I went to find my favorite color of nail polish at Target the other day and they no longer carry it. I was totally devastated as you can imagine. I mean, what if more bad things happen to me? What if Project Runway or Dance Moms decides to quit making episodes or something? It could totally happen.

But seriously, looking at my little life and where I came from and where I have ended up it really makes me think that things could be so much worse. I have not always made good choices and I am incredibly lucky in so many ways. And thats not just sappy blog writing, its the truth. I mean I once thought that picking up a random hitchhiker would be a good way to deal with boredom when I was 16 and also once I wore socks with birkenstocks back in the 90's. Yep. So I look at my beautiful babies and everything around me and I hope that I can continue to be this lucky.

How did homophobia become a christian value anyways?

Ever since all this Chick-Fila b.s. exploded all over facebook, all of a sudden eating a chicken sandwich becomes like this moral and political issue, and requires not just about 1.99$, but also a really strong opinion about alot of things that have little to do with chicken. The crazy thing is Chick-Fila is like pretty much the only fastfood I like. They use better ingredients than the others and they have this cool indoor playground that keeps the kids out of my hair. So imagine my dismay when all of a sudden the only fastfood I have let my kids eat becomes the center of all this strong opinion. Why couldnt this have happened to Burger King or hell even Taco Bell? I probably wouldnt have even noticed. Although, I kinda dig Meximelts. And those cinnamon twist things kinda rock. So anyways, I was all you know I love gay people but I am still gonna eat there. I mean those chicken nuggets are so good, I mean what are they like coated with heroin or something? But then I saw it- this picture of some people outside of a Chick-Fila near my house in cow suits wearing a sign that says "God hates Fags".
Wow, really? You know I am not like super religious, but I consider myself fundamentally Christian ( And I like gay people, crazy I know) and I like to think I have a personal relationship with God. I mean mostly I just pray when I am asking for stuff, but sometimes I occasionally pray even when I dont need something. And yeah I am not a bible scholar- I mean I tried to read it once but lets face it- the Bible is totally boring. Sorry God, but it kinda is. But I do remember some stuff about love, tolerance and doing good for other people. And I am pretty sure God doesnt really "hate" anything, I mean God is the antithesis of hate really. God is light. And I like to think if God really decided to hate someone he would hate bigoted assholes who wear hateful and intolerant signs at fastfood restaurants that children are reading and call it "Christian family values".  What if those signs said "God hates black people" or "God hates Jews"? The fact that more people are not outraged by this kinda worries me. I guess in Hitler's Germany no one was that freaked out about people were treating the Jews until the Holocaust began.
So, thanks alot douchebags with your hateful and poorly grammatically executed signs, because this Christian mommy will not be eating at Chick-Fila. I guess this is God's way of telling me that fastfood is not the best thing for my kids to eating anyways, even if they do have really cool playgrounds.