So I got a facial today and a massage. Which was nice. Also I didnt pay for it, which is pretty much double nice. Apparently during facials they spend time "extracting some trouble areas" which I found out means they pop your zits under this bright light and then torture you with this metal thing that pokes your face. When I got done the facial lady told me that she was sorry she had to "extract so much" but I have problem areas around my T-zone. I didnt actually know what the crap a T-zone was or why I should care but I smiled and said thank you anyways. Frankly I only got a facial because I thought they would rub creams on my face that smelled good and maybe play with my hair but I guess its really alot more serious than that because then she went on to give me really long lecture about the importance of exfoliation and how she could tell that I didnt have a regimen. Really I should be using a toner. Why wasnt I doing that? Didnt I care about my skin?
Well um maybe I dont "exfoliate" my "T-zone" and use "toner" as a part of my daily regimen, but I do take showers at least every other day. AND when I get food on my face, I totally wipe it off most of the time. And I am not trying to brag or anything but I almost never forget to wear deodorant. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it facial lady.
I mean at least I have a daily "Regimen". No it doesnt include exfoliation, its more like:
1. Have a really hard time getting out of bed each morning because I stayed up too late reading/facebooking/pinteresting/watching netflix. Wait till last possible minute to get up. Swear to God and Jehovah that tonight will be different and I will go to bed earlier.
2. Beg kids to get dressed and eat breakfast quickly. Act surprised that my kids really dont give a crap that I am late to work. Again. And that they have no sense of urgency.
3. Put greasy hair into ponytail. Swear that one day I will do something with hair.
4. Argue with Amelie about why she has to get in her carseat and cant just ride in the front seat or drive. Look crazy yelling at my kids to "just get in the freaking car so we can go to school, omg why does it take ten years to leave the house every morning!!"
5. Drop off kids. Drive to work. Listen to bad pop music really loud in the car.
6. Arrive to work. Shove down Luna bar. Decide I am still hungry. Find donuts. Swear that tomorrow will start diet.
7. Work. Talk to people about cancer alot.
8. Get off work. Fight traffic. Cuss alot about how much I hate traffic.
9. Barely make it to daycare as it closes.
10. Get home. Feed kids. Bathe kids. Dress them. Negotiate with them. Micromanage the crap out of them.
11. Beg them to go sleep.
12. Complain about how tired I am, vow to go to bed really soon.
13. Pour wine.
14. Get really caught up in season 9 of Grey's Anatomy. Like really caught up. Those doctors are so pretty.
15. Realize its midnight. Curse at self. Collapse exhausted into bed. Swear that tomorrow will be different.
Anyways you get the picture. So no, I dont exfoliate. But I managed to not go off on the facial lady and actually thank her for the advice which was a pretty big victory for me.
