If you guys dont go to bed soon, mommy is going to lose it. Again.

It takes like 2 hours for the kids to actually go to sleep after we "put them to bed" every night. Amelie sings Disney songs and made up songs about her classmates really loud. Sawyer suddenly needs to go to the bathroom once every ten minutes. It used to really stress me out. I micromanaged and negotiated and yelled. It didnt make them go to bed any earlier and I felt like I needed a Xanax when it was all said and done. I am now to the point where when they start singing and giggling and not sleeping, I no longer give a crap as long as they stay in their rooms. Its called lowered expectations people.

The other day we ended up going to a 4th of July cookout at a friends house where we were the only ones who brought kids. So immediately the kids ate a crap ton of sugar and ran in circles, bumped into coffee tables, punched some dogs in the face, crawled all over each other, jumped off the backs of various pieces of furniture, ect, ect- you get the picture. And suddenly I saw my kids through the eyes of the people there, mostly childless people who did stuff like wake up when they feel like it and watch stuff on TV thats not about superheros, and I remembered why I mostly only hang out with other people with small kids. Because they are the only ones who get it. If I had been one of those childless people at that party watching my kids act like crazy drunk monkeys, I truly would have thought that when I had kids, they certainly would not act like that. I remember very clearly thinking that if toddlers  weren't quiet and "well mannered" that surely it was a direct reflection of the parents. Turns out toddlers just act like crazy drunk monkeys alot unless you beat them, and you arent allowed to do that anymore. This whole parenting thing has been humbling for me to say the least.

Its funny how we as people, me included, tend to judge instead of empathize. I work with a lot of uninsured and economically disadvantaged people and its so interesting how quickly people judge and condemn them for having the nerve to get terminal cancer without proper insurance or financial support. Frankly, if you get diagnosed with cancer and you are poor, in alot of cases you will be treated badly because of it and you will get substandard care. But I kind of think that treating someone who is dying differently because they have no insurance is disgusting. Treating somebody badly because they are economically disadvantaged does not make you superior to them, it just makes you an asshole. We all need to remember and realize that most people are where they are in life economically not just because of decisions that they have made, but because of the cards that they are dealt. Because of their circumstances. Because poverty is cyclical and "breaking the cycle" is actually nearly impossible if you really research it. Chances are that the medical professional who is being so judgmental was born in the middle or upper class, had a stable childhood, a house with air conditioning and heat and didnt know what it was like to steal food because you were hungry or how to hide from child protective services. Its not an even playing field, and some people have a hell of alot more to overcome than others.

So anyways next time you are judging someone, or find yourself saying "I would never" or " What was she thinking" just remember that life can be very humbling and circumstances can change quickly and really we all need to work on this whole empathy thing.